A Jasmine from the Rubble

Part one of the "Jasmine Flower of Gaza" series

[Editor's note: The following text is from the dairy of Walaa Reada, one of the many Palestinians currently trapped under the genocidal Israeli siege of Gaza. As the mainstream media attempts to silence the desperate pleas of Israel's victims, it is now more important than ever for the world to hear the voices of the Palestinian people. Walaa is a courageous and caring individual. She is a mother of five who works tirelessly to provide for her children and helps others in need as a medical professional. In her spare time, she loves to write and hopes to one day publish a book based on her lived experiences.]

Life in a Tent

My name is Walaa. I live in Gaza, in a fragile tent with my husband, his father, and several family members.

I used to be a nurse and volunteer paramedic — someone who helped others in times of crisis. But today, I find myself helpless. Our home is gone. Our safety is gone. Every day begins with the sound of drones and ends in silence, interrupted only by explosions in the distance.

We sleep on the ground, under plastic sheets that barely protect us from the heat. There’s no electricity, no toilets, no clean water.

My husband was injured weeks ago. He’s recovering, thankfully, but we still lack medicine, food, and basic dignity. His father is still suffering and needs care I cannot provide.

I try to stay strong for everyone. But the truth is, each day feels heavier than the one before.

– Walaa from Gaza

Hunger in Gaza

I had another hunger attack tonight.

Suddenly, you feel as if your stomach wall has stuck together, and a bitter taste in your throat, as if the stomach acid has reached your mouth. A severe headache begins, or a feeling of emptiness surrounds your brain.

I don't know how to describe it.

When you try to stand, you feel dizzy and unsteady. You quickly try to support yourself with something and close your eyes for a while. The blood then tries to reach your brain again.

You have some time to go outside and look for anything, no matter how simple, to put inside your stomach. This will give your body a temporary, false signal that you've started eating, thus breaking the hunger attack for a while. You wait for the next hunger attack.

Some people fail to overcome this and fall on the streets or in their tents.

Over time, our bodies begin to digest themselves, and muscle mass disappears, causing us to become severely emaciated.

If time continues, our vital organs begin to collapse, and some of us suffer from functional failure.  The body begins to suffer from diseases that gradually lead to death.

Hunger is not just a descriptive term; it is a true weapon of murder that we are exposed to every hour.

[Editor's note: There is currently a famine in Gaza that threatens the lives of over a million Palestinians. This famine is completely engineered by the state of Israel, and is considered a war crime by the Geneva Convention.]

Spring Hope │ Autumn Sorrow

Why does the spring of our lives coincide with the autumn of our homeland?

Our only sin was that we built great dreams on fragile ground.

They all collapsed,

Leaving us with only the wreckage—

The wreckage of dreams we had striven so hard to achieve.

What great sin did we commit that our crops were burned during harvest season?

Small Blessings

This time, unlike usual, after a long day working as a volunteer nurse helping the sick and injured, and saving as many lives as possible, the shift ended and I returned to my tent and prepared lunch for my family. Our food consisted of some soup and bread. It was a great blessing for us and our situation, as many here cannot find this food. Even after finishing, I felt the need to take a cold shower to relieve our body heat. I was happy to have some water available that day. I used the water to shower and wash the remaining dishes. I hoped the water would be cold so I could feel the refreshment I hadn't felt for so long, but its heat was exacerbating the tragedy.

There was no soap or even shampoo to wash the body and hair. These are simple things that a person needs for cleaning, which are not available. And because we are a people who defy all odds, I used dishwashing liquid and applied it to my body and hair, hoping it would remove some of the dust stuck to our bodies. Everything is hot here, the sun is everywhere, there is no escape. Soon, the sweat began to wet us again. This is suffering.

Since you don't feel the comfort you're looking for...

I went to sleep as usual. I couldn't sleep because of the intense heat of the tent surrounded by nylon, as if you were inside a greenhouse. You were breathing heavily. I felt sorry for our situation and cried hysterically. I don't know why exactly, but I needed to. I had the urge to scream at the top of my lungs, and my inner voice was saying,

"Enough! We've had enough!"

Our hearts could no longer bear all this suffering. I cried with all my soul for the safety we enjoyed in our homes, for our dignity that was preserved, and I remembered the blessing of shelter!

Written by: Walaa Abu Rida

Dated: January 11, 2024

[Editor's note: The complete blockade on Gaza has made even the most essential items prohibitively expensive. Prices have only continued to climb as supplies dwindle. As of this posting, an average tent costs $1000, one kilo of vegetables is around $90, and the price of a single watermelon is $76.]

The Jasmine Flower

On my way, I picked a jasmine from the rubble of the houses. I smelled it as if I were thirsty for a beautiful scent to make me forget. These scents my nose had been accustomed to for 10 months. I cannot describe how happy I was. This was a good opportunity. I felt a comfort I'd never felt before. How could this beautiful, simple, and fresh flower make me forget part of a tragedy? How could it give me a feeling of happiness that had been forgotten for quite some time? Ah, its beautiful white color, despite its purity, is the color of shrouds in my country. I quickly threw it away. It brought back my tragedies!!!! They killed everything beautiful within us. After contemplating them, all beautiful things now open deep scars in our hearts. How will we live with this immense amount of sadness? How will these cursed days end? How will we regain ourselves?

This was when I passed through one of the destroyed neighborhoods. There was nothing left but a jasmine flower to tell me that life is beautiful despite all this destruction. She told me to keep going and not give up.

[Editor's note: Jasmine flowers are a symbol of purity and chastity in Palestinian culture. Finding one amongst the devastation of Gaza can invoke feelings of hope. Palestinians have learned to treasure these small moments that remind them of the beauty that lies within the world.]

Message from the Author and Editor

I love writing very much and I have always dreamed of writing a book.

I was always first in writing during my studies, reciting poetry and writing short stories.

These were my writings, and they came from the heart of the suffering in light of the power outage, the internet outage, and all means. Writing always saved me and entertained me.

– Walaa from Gaza